Winning Bid
by Sg1Trooper
Summary: 3 lighter, 2 MRE's and a Flashlight that's my final offer. Jack is up on the auction block.


3 Lighters, 2 MRE's and a flashlight and that's  
my final offer

A/N: This was a challenge sentence for As the Stargate Turns. hope you enjoy.

* * *

If the ground could open up and swallow him whole, he would be a happy man.

When had he lost control of this mission?

"This is embarrassing."

Daniel nodded in agreement. He pushed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose and waited outside the cell.

"Jack, it could be worse."

He looked at him, motioned to his body, which was only clad in a loincloth, and folded his arms over his bare chest.

Daniel shrugged as he put his clothing back on.

"What are you complaining about you're "free". I'm still up for the taking."

Daniel looked over to where the buyers were getting ready to bid. He took a deep breath and tried to put a brave face on, but failed.

"You're going to kill me when you get out, right? Jack, I'm sorry, really, I thought they were being friendly and when they offered us something to drink. I didn't want to be rude."

"Liar! That little nymph had you wrapped around her finger as soon as you laid eyes on her, Daniel. You would have walked on water if she asked you too."

Daniel blushed and knew Jack was right.

She and a group of other women had approached them with flowers and drinks to welcome their new friends that had travel through the great circle of stone.

When he had seen her walking towards them he was entranced. She was tall and had a face of an angel and her voice was as lovely as her  
face.

Jack should have tried to stop Daniel and should have found it weird to have only women greet them at the gate, but he didn't say anything, having been entranced by the women fawning over him and the rest of his team.

He kinda liked the attention being given him.

He was touched and caressed and each one had greeted him with a kiss to both cheeks. He  
basked in the attention and when he turned to his second in command  
she was not a happy camper.

She pulled him to the side and said, "Sir, I don't think this is a  
good idea. We should head back to the gate. Remember no eating or  
drinking what the locals give us. It was your rule, remember."

"They're being friendly Carter. No worries, come on, enjoy the  
attention."

Remembering his last words to her made him roll his eyes. He rubbed  
his hand over his face and knew she would never let him live this  
down.

He recalled how she had been taken to speak to the leader of the  
village and they were given plenty of attention and drink.

The last thing he remembered was sitting on a rock and having one of  
the nymphs come between his legs. Looking up, he had seen his 2IC  
with a scowl on her face. That look would definitely have put him in  
the dog house if he and Carter were married.

Whoa!

Where did that thought come from?

He had woken up in a cell with Teal'c and Daniel, minus their gear  
and clothing, but with a large headache.

He looked around for Carter and she was nowhere to be found.

The nymph Daniel had been entranced with was guarding the door and  
when Daniel asked what was going on, she showed her fangs and pushed  
him back with Teal'c's staff weapon and yelled at him to be silent.

They had fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

No, they had fallen. Carter hadn't. She had warned him and he knew  
she would not let him live this down.

The doors open to reveal Carter. She was still dressed.

Daniel hid behind Teal'c and Jack just closed his eyes, wishing this  
was a dream.

Hmm, dream, him in a loincloth and her in a Jane outfit….

"Colonel!"

Jack's snapped out of his happy dream and looked down at his 2IC. She  
had her arms on her hips and asked the guards to leave, so she could  
speak to her team alone.

"I told you guys not to take anything from these women. You are all  
on the auction block since you were fair game as soon as you walked  
through the gate. I will be allowed to bid for you, since they  
believe I own all three of you. But I don't have money so they're  
letting me barter with what we have. You three better pray I have  
enough stuff these women want."

"You can't let them have the weapons Carter," the Colonel said.

She eyed him, took a deep breath and said, "I know that, sir. I hid  
them by the gate with the GDOs. With all the "fawning" being done  
they only took Teal'c's staff weapon and Daniel's friend is refusing  
to give that back. Sorry, Teal'c, put the blame on Daniel and the  
Colonel for the loss of your weapon."

Daniel apologized again and she turned to walk out.

She turned looked at the Colonel with a dishearteningly gaze and he  
knew he had hurt her by going along with the attention he was given.

He would make it up to her somehow. That was, if she even placed a  
bid on him.

What if she didn't?

"Oh boy," he sighed as the auction began.

Teal'c was taken first and the bidding was fierce.

Carter won him but it cost her all of the sleeping bags, tents and 2  
MRE's.

Some of the others were auctioned off and then Daniel was next.

Daniel's little friend started to bid and at the end it was between  
Carter and her. Carter waited and Daniel started to squirm wondering  
if she was going to let her take him.

She sweetened the pot with her alice vest and some chocolate and was  
the winning bidder.

She handed over the packs and the two flashlights.

Jack looked at her and she turned away.

He knew he would have to do some major apologizing to his Major.

Daniel was dressed and went to see what Carter had left to bid for  
Jack.

Jack was taken to the platform and was made to turn around, letting  
the women touch him.

He rolled his eyes and wondered if this could this get any more  
humiliating.

He got his answer when his Carter came up to "inspect the goods".

She came close to him and whispered, "Act unruly, or like yourself  
sir. I don't think I have enough to buy you."

Jack looked at her and sees she is not kidding.

"Oh for crying out loud, you're a dead man, space monkey!"

The guard poked him with the staff weapon. He yelped and knocked the  
weapon away from her hands. The others started to murmur about the  
unruly slave.

The auctioneer came up and started the bidding.

One older woman looked smitten by the unruly Colonel. For every bid  
Carter put in she was outbidded by her.

Carter was running out of stuff and then she remembered her  
clothing. She pulled out her black tank top and sports bra and hoped  
it would be enough. The auctioneer eyed them with fascination and  
felt the soft material. She looked to the older woman, who pulled  
out a small bag of gold coins.

Carter blurted "3 Lighters, 2 MRE's and a flashlight and that's my  
final offer."

She put them all by the Colonel's feet. She looked up at him and then  
looked over to the older lady. She pulled out another pouch with  
silver coins.

The auctioneer was about to close the bidding when Carter pulled out  
the gold chain under her shirt.

She showed it to the auctioneer, who snatched it away.

The colonel blurted out "No!"

The auctioneer yelled out, "Sold".

Oh, he was so going to pay for this mission


End file.
